Guilt

A burden for the eldest

Photo by Volkan Olmez on Unsplash

I worry about guilt and
how it might consume me
if I do what’s best for me.
I’ve abandoned myself
for so long now
it’s the only path I know.
Comfort is in the anguish,
the panicked breath,
the accelerated heart, and
the hyper-vigilant state.
That Garden tempts me
the peace, the serenity.
How do people exist in such a flow state?
Who am I without the struggle?
Say my feet sank into the lush grass,
would I dirty the earth?
What…